I was going to do a write up about the episode two weeks ago that dealt with Santana and her coming out, but the episode ended in the middle of the story’s arc and I figured I’d give Glee the benefit of the doubt and see how the show would tie it all up. Turns out they tied it up into one big ass pile of bullshit.

To recap what happened during “Mash-Off”: It was Trouble Tones vs. New Directions and thus Finn vs. Santana in a verbal sparing war in the hallway. Santana crosses some lines and then Finn obliterates any and all lines that have ever existed by telling Santana to come out of the closet and calling her a coward because she hasn’t yet. In a crowded hallway. In front of dozens of students. Some politician, whose niece overhead this particular  exchange, plans to out Santana in a public commercial aimed to attack Sue. Santana, obviously upset since she hasn’t told her parents yet, confronts Finn who says something along the lines of “everyone in the school already knows and they don’t care”. He doesn’t know about the ad. And then Santana smacks him clear across the face and the episode ends. (And that’s what you missed on Glee!)

When we arrive back at McKinley in for “I Kissed a Girl” the very first scene confronts what happens during the previous episode. Santana, Finn, Will, and Shelby are all in Figgins’ office to discuss what happened last week. Well, not really, just to discuss Santana slapping Finn. Figgins says she’s going to be suspended because WMHS has a no tolerance policy when it comes to violence (except slushies are cool); Will and Shelby agree. That is until our favorite Hero Boy, Finn, swoops in to say that she didn’t really slap him even though it looked and sounded like it.

Yes, Finn comes to Santana aids. She will not be suspended! Hooray! He wants sectionals to be a “fair fight” and he feels bad for her because he thinks she is just awesome. Aw, how sweet of him.

But he tells her unless she and the rest of the Trouble Tones come back to Glee for a “lesson” he’ll go back to Figgins and tell him the truth. Blackmail isn’t a good look on you, Finn, and I don’t really know what kind of “lesson” a straight white boy could have for a lesbian latina.

Nonetheless, Santana and the rest of the Trouble Tones wind up in the choir room for “Lady Music Week”. That’s music “for ladies, by ladies”. Finn continues to push Santana’s outing further saying everyone in glee knows about Brittany and her and they’re not judging because they’re “accepting and cool”, failing to consider that coming out isn’t only about having accepting people in your life but coming to terms with yourself and how your future’s going to change. But again, Straight White Boy Finn really wouldn’t know much about that.

Kurt and Blaine sing a song to Santana; she’s ungrateful because of course she is.

Later Finn approaches Santana at her locker, seeking praise for his oh so fantastic lady music idea. She tells him straight up that he’s practically forcing her out of the closet. He responds that it’s really the pizza guy congressional candidate who is forcing her to “deal with it”, completely shirking the blame. Nevermind that it’s because of Finn that the pizza guy even has that information. Needless to say, Finn does NOT apologize for outing Santana.

But Finn is the good guy! He’s concerned for Santana because he thinks that one day her anger is going to turn suicidal. He sings her a patronizing version of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” (because obviously lesbians are just in it for the fun!) and then she thanks him for it and fucking hugs him! Are you fucking kidding me, writers? All Santana needed was a serenading by Finn and everything is just fucking dandy? How in the fucking world does a douchey song make it okay? Her life is going to be forever changed because of some privileged white boy and all he has to do is sing? No. I know Glee isn’t exactly about realism but that is just bullshit.

It’s apparent that now pizza guy’s ad has run because as Santana walks down the hallway all the dudes oogle her like they’re watching her fuck a chick. And then some underclassman rugby captain approaches her. He says that girls like Santana are a “challenge” and they just need the right guy to “straighten” them out. FUCKING GROSS, GLEE. Here you go, Finn, and everyone who said that nothing good comes from being in the closet. This is why. People like this douchebag exist and they think they have to right to “straighten” queer girls and very often that includes rape. But, hey, Santana was only scared of facing her “feelings”.

Granted the glee girls come to her defense. Rugby dude tells them he’s trying to make her “normal”. Brittany replies that she is normal and Quinn says it isn’t a choice.

BUT. Then the girls launch into a song that is entirely about kissing girls to please males. Do the writers even listen to the content of the songs before they pick them? “I Kissed a Girl” is perhaps the most offensive song about faux-sapphic love ever written yet they thought it would be the most appropriate song to sing. And the show has at least three gay writers (including a lesbian) so there is really no excuse. Anything for that paycheck, huh?

Following their performance, Santana updates everyone: she’s told her parents, they’re cool with it, and now all she has to do is tell her grandmother. Yet, when Kurt came out to his dad we saw an extremely beautiful and moving scene. But Santana’s developments are told off screen continuously. When will we ever see her kiss her goddamn girlfriend?

Speaking of her girlfriend, where was Brittany during this whole storyline? We saw her during her campaign for class president but she is completely absent from Santana’s coming out story. Why the hell is that? Because Finn, a boy who is not even her friend and knows nothing about being gay, is the better choice to aid her as she comes out?

Anyway, Santana comes out to her grandmother. Unfortunately she doesn’t take it well and kicks Santana out of the house calling it a sin and a scandal. It would be a moving and poignant scene that shows the flip side of the coming out process. That sometimes it isn’t okay and your family doesn’t accept it like Burt Hummel accepted Kurt. There’s still the potential that her grandmother will come around and things may patch up in the future, of course. But the scene we see, set in her grandmother’s kitchen (using the set of American Horror Story — appropriate), is rife with heteronormative rhetoric. Santana says that she feels the way about girls that she’s “supposed to feel about boys”. Supposed to? Glee, the writers, and Santana herself think that girls are supposed to love boys. Forget about Brittany saying she’s is normal. Nope, Santana still thinks liking boys is what she’s supposed to do.

In the end, Santana sings a song  to the group. A song that gives her strength and reminds her that she’s not alone. And then the fucking camera pans to Finn, in case you forgot that he’s the White Knight in this story. Fucking pathetic.

The thing is, with Glee, its audience is so young and impressionable and it is literally spouting all the wrong concepts when it comes to sexuality, homosexuality, and feminism: girls need boys to save them, even if they’re gay, forcing someone out of the closet is okay — if your intentions are “good”, girls just want to have fun, etc.

And I haven’t even touched upon Quinn, Rachel, or Shelby in this episode. Another day, because much like Santana, I’m too tired.

Bryan Fuller is the man behind critical darlings Pushing Daisies, Dead Like Me, and Wonderfalls so this reboot is right up his delightfully macabre alley.

Now Fuller’s previous works have not been successful with ratings but the nostalgia factor might draw in some more viewers.

Some might say that a reboot is unnecessary or that an original work by Fuller might be better, but Fuller is one of those showrunners who gets my absolute trust. Can’t wait.

#sixseasonsandamovie

So after Rachel was afraid of losing the part of Maria she entered the race for student body president (or is it senior class president? I don’t think they’ve made that clear), much to the chagrin of Kurt who had also entered the race to beef up his NYADA application.

In “Mash Off” Kurt and Rachel haven’t been friends for weeks. While preparing for the dodgeball match, Rachel approaches Kurt and very sincerely admits that she misses him. But he tells her that she should’ve thought about that before she stepped all over him on her way to the top. And while I do understand that he’s hurt, he is acting awfully entitled in these moments. Kurt really did only run to look good for NYADA and not because of the self-righteous reasons he continues to spout. Also, let’s recognize that this is Rachel who has always choose the spotlight over friends making a concession. She’s starting to realize that maybe it’s the people who you have on your way to the top that really matter.

Later, during the presidential speeches Kurt vows to ban dodgeball considering that is violent and only encourages bullying.  Also taking into account that Kurt is the only nominee never made his campaign negative (I’m not sure where Rachel went negative, but feel free to refresh my memory), Rachel decides to concede and asks everyone to cast their vote for Kurt.

In the hallway as Rachel is taking down her campaign posters (Vote For the Berry Best), Kurt asks her why she withdrew from the race. She says she should’ve done it as soon as she she was cast as the musical lead and Kurt needs the resumé boost. She was so focused on getting herself to New York that she didn’t realize that part of her dream is going there with him. It was a really smart way of making her concession not really about him but more about her, her journey, and her relationship with Kurt. They hug, she pledges to help him win, and Hummeberry is back together, ya’ll.

Rachel also has a really sweet moment with Shelby in this episode. She approaches her birth mother about a recommendation letter, considering Shelby is a championship show choir coach. Rachel has already written the letter and she only asks that Shelby sign it. Shelby lets Rachel know how proud of her she is and Shelby taking a look at Rachel’s impressive resumé, Rachel asks if maybe Shelby will writer her own version of the letter.

It’s also really nice for Rachel to get some reassurance about her future. Shelby tells Rachel her chances are good and that all the girls who beat her out on her own auditions usually graduated from NYADA. Rachel doesn’t often get much support from friends or even teacher so it’s pretty great for her to get it here. Maybe the show can evolve the Rachel/Shelby relationship into a sort of mentorship. It’s a tricky relationship to maneuver and I don’t know if Glee can handle it but we can only hope.

And that’s what you missed on Glee… or however I’m supposed to end this.

“The First Time”, as the title implies, was Glee’s Big Sex Episode. Also they’re preforming West Side Story (it is notable that a full musical production could be put together before the school election. What’s up with that, McKinley?).

The musical serves as the catalyst for all the sex talk. Artie, the director, questions the chemistry between his two leads (Blaine and Tony and Rachel as Maria, natch). He, rather inappropriately, asks them about their first times and when both answer that they have yet to have sex Artie questions whether they can play a role of “sexual awakening” without being “sexually awakened” themselves. Sure.

After rehearsal, we find Rachel supervising Finn who is helping her put up campaign posters: “Put a Berry on top of student government” it reads. Ain’t that the cutest! She questions whether he has decided who he’ll vote for: Rachel or Kurt. Finn says that he is still undecided because it’s hard to vote against his brother. (I’m not really sure why the writers keep trying to push the Kurt and Finn are brothers card, because uh, we never really see them interact that much… and Finn likes to keep shooting down his “brother”‘s boyfriend but I digress.) At least he’s helping Rachel put up the posters, right? That’s progress since the last time they discussed the issue and he embarrassed her in the hallway.

Anyway, Rachel is feeling confident because she’s sold out three night of the musical, she’s tied for first place in the polls for the presidential race, and she has a boyfriend. It is a wonderful thing to see Rachel Berry happy, since it usually doesn’t last very long.

Finn mentions that an Ohio State football recruiter is coming to the game on Friday night to watch him play. Rachel is supportive even though it’s a reminder that their lives are on different paths. Finn also says that his mom and Burt are going to be out of town tonight and invites Rachel over. She’ll be there are six.

Rachel sings some duets with Santana for the musical; Finn goes to Puck for some condom advice but Puck says he doesn’t use them and it works about 99% of the time. K.

Now Finn and Rachel are sitting down to dinner at his house. He cooked; she praises it saying it was the best fake meat she’s ever had (because it wasn’t fake). She proposes a toast to the last four months of their drama-free relationship. He offers dessert of Sara Lee pound cake (which also is probably definitely not vegan) but she thinks they should take it into the living room by the fire and get a little more intimate. They share meaningful looks; I sprain an eyeball.

The couple is getting cozy by the fireplace when Finn inquires why Rachel thinks now is the right time to have sex. She’s honest; she tells him she thinks it’ll help her WSS performance, but she loves him too. Finn freaks out and leaves. Boo hoo.

Oops, I forgot to mention that Rachel brought her own condoms as “every modern girl should”. Get it, girl.

Rachel calls a meeting with the Glee girls (minus Mercedes, unfortunately) asking for advice. She tells them about what happened with Finn and they all tell her she was basically horrible. Quinn says that Rachel should just wait to have sex because virginity is something you can’t get back (woo! purity myth!). Santana also says she should wait because having sex with Finn is like “being smothered by a sweaty, out of breath sack of potatoes that someone soaked in body spray”. But Tina says that her first time with Mike was wonderful because they were “in love”. Cue “I Have a Love” playing over Tina telling them all about it and then Rachel walking slow motion down the halls of McKinley towards Finn. Barf.

It’s opening night of West Side Story and Rachel and Blaine apologize to each other for not being able lose it. They watch Santana and the others preform ‘America’ and wonder how a bunch of virgins is supposed to follow that. Because acting ability is directly correlated to the amount of sex you have and Tony and Maria don’t come out until after ‘America’?

Then Rachel has an epiphany. Really the show is about having a soul mate and since both have boyfriends they’re good to go. I’m so glad Rachel came to this realization just 2 minutes before she goes out on stage. And I find it completely ridiculous that Rachel, who has had the a strong connection to the role of Maria since she was seven would really ever think that West Side Story was even remotely about sex. Don’t you love it when Glee sacrifices characterization for some contrived plot point?

Blah blah blah, the play is great. We don’t see it, but everyone was wonderful apparently. Rachel goes over to Finn’s house. Unfortunately Finn’s mental incapacity extends to his assuredness in football and the OSU recruiter wasn’t there to see him play but there for Mercedes’ boyfriend, Shane. He has a proper meltdown about the future and having no plans or dreams since he’s not good enough to go to OSU for football or NYADA for singing (or anywhere for braininess). Rachel tells him together they’re figure out new dreams for him and then offers her virginity to him as a consolation prize. Okay, not exactly. But she does tell him he’s special because she’s “going to give him something no one else is ever going to get.” So. Kind of.

They make out and look at each other deeply and then the scene fades to black over his shoulder. And that’s it. The Big Sex Episode. Good job with that, Glee.

“The First Time” really wasn’t about sex, but about love. Gag. Actually more accurately it was about virginity. The episode pushed forward a lot of notions about that word that are frankly pretty sexist. The “losing” and “giving” and “taking” rhetoric that surround that word needs to stop and I was hoping that Glee, a self-proclaimed progressive show, might take it upon itself to debunk some of those myths. Unfortunately it wasn’t the case and I shouldn’t have had any hopes that it would be different considering that Glee really is only progressive when it comes to white males.

Maybe things will change. Maybe the new female writers haven’t shaken things up enough yet. Who knows? All I know is that Glee should stick to more comedy instead of preaching in these “very special episodes”.

In summary Rachel’s role was diminished to being upset about the cancellation of the musical, being excited about it not being canceled after all, and taking the brunt of Santana’s annoyance at not being featured on more solos.

Santana says she’s only had one solo (“Valerie”) so technically, by those standards, Rachel’s only had two. Yes, Lea Michele has sung more songs in Glee‘s run so far, but if we’re not taking into account audition songs and practice pieces then the only two songs that qualify as Rachel Berry competition solos are “Don’t Rain on My Parade” and “Get It Right”.

And if everyone is going to keep complaining that Rachel gets all the solos, the writers should probably give her a solo to back up those accusations. Rachel didn’t sing a line in “Pot O’ Gold” and has only participated in duets in the previous episodes this season. The girl hasn’t had a solo since “Funeral”!

I understand that Rachel is not an easy person to love. She’s eager and direct and it puts a lot of people off, including most of her Glee-mates, which is pretty sad when it’s been her objective since day one to be included. yet we sit here, 48 episodes into the series and she still hasn’t managed to win many of the Glee members over.

Moreover, Santana’s accusation of the glee club’s performances becoming “The Blaine and Rachel” show comes after a performance by Blaine. Just Blaine. Rachel didn’t do a thing besides praise his performance and she gets criticized for that. Last season when she didn’t welcome in new members she was chastised (we’re going to ignore that crackhouse business because, wow, way to make your character two-dimensional, writers), but this season many members of the glee club have been resistant to Blaine joining the glee club while Rachel has been supportive yet somehow this is wrong too.

It would be wonderful if everyone could sing equally (I can’t remember the last time I heard Quinn or Tina’s voices), but at the end of the day why is the blame placed on Rachel? Mr. Shue is the teacher and ultimately he decides what song/singer choices will benefit them the most. It is a competition and “fairness” isn’t what comes first. You wouldn’t expect a football coach to play every team member equally, so why demand it from the glee club?

Beyond the constant “Rachel Berry Show” accusations, Rachel and Kurt shared an icy little exchange in the beginning over Rachel running for president but it seemed to be mostly dramatics. During the audition of newcomer, Rory, they seemed to be on slightly better terms. Hopefully we’ll actually get some words over the issue next week.

In the closing seconds of tonight’s “Pot O’ Gold”, Rachel’s ex-boyfriend, Puck was seen locking lips with her birth mother, Shelby. While not directly involving Rachel at the moment, it’s sure to come out later in the season and, well, let’s just hope Rachel’s dads still have that therapist on retainer (and maybe Rachel should give Quinn that therapist’s number too).

From the promo following the episode, it seems like next week will be a big episode for our girl. Still no word on any solos though.

Best Breakfast Food Costume

Jane Williams as Bacon (Happy Endings)

She doesn’t even need the eggs, let’s be honest.

Best Recycled Costume

Ron Swanson as Pirate (Parks and Recreation)

It is his Halloween costume.

Best Queen Regnant Costume

Spencer Hastings as Mary, Queen of Scots (Pretty Little Liars)

She was born to be queen but her cousin stole the throne and then she was accused of treason and her family had her executed.

Best AMC Original Drama Costume

Ryan Howard as Jesse Pinkman (The Office)

This was definitely Mindy’s doing. And I love her for it.

What were your favorites this year? Favorites ever? Happy Halloween!

Glee

Quinn Fabray is arguably one of Glee‘s most polarizing characters. I don’t think there are many people who fall on the in between with this girl. She has lovers and haters which makes her quite interesting.

I’ll admit it: it took me a long time to come around to Quinn. I had gone back and forth before but mostly I just didn’t understand her. She lied to Finn, but came clean and suffered the consequences. She tormented Rachel, but then would have genuine moments with her. She made the glist, but helped Mercedes attempt to overcome body image issues.Her development has been inconsistent, and while most of the trouble is in the writing I think I finally found a way to make sense of it all. I would point my full conversion at about two weeks ago. In a LJ community, of all places, someone said, “She just wants to be loved.”

And isn’t that just it. She wants to be loved! It all makes sense. Her whole life she’s been trying to find someone to love her for who she is and not who they want her to be. The trouble is that she isn’t exactly sure who she is, so she molds herself into what she thinks will make others happy. She’s a good Christian girl, president of the Celibacy Club, for her parents and head cheerleader for her peers. When she feels like she’s losing Finn she joins the Glee Club. Partially for Sue, but mainly because she thinks being a part of glee will make him love her more.

After she gets pregnant all she dreams about is being not pregnant. Her dream in “Dream On” is “no stretch marks”. To Quinn, it’s her pregnancy that is the reason her parents kick her out and Finn breaks up with her. All she wants throughout the whole first season is to go back to “normal” or whatever it was like before she was pregnant, when people loved her.

In season two, she more or less gets her wish. She’s captain of the Cheerios and by the middle of the season she’s dating Finn again. Her new goal is prom queen which she doesn’t get and then Finn dumps her. Thus going “back to normal” didn’t make everything better. She still feels unwanted.

There have only been three episodes so far of the latest season but essentially Quinn’s storyline has boiled down to: joins “the skanks”, dyes hair pink, finds out Shelby’s back with Beth in tow, dyes hair back to blonde, rejoins glee club. The later two are apparently in effort to get Beth back.

Quinn has never shown any attachment to Beth, either during or after the pregnancy. But now Quinn doesn’t have anyone to love her. She has no boyfriend, no real friends (the dynamics of the Unholy Trinity is another post) so she projects it all onto Beth, this little baby who she thinks would have no choice but to love her. So she wants her.

Yes, it’s misguided and would never work, but Quinn is a teenager and doesn’t have a great track record with decision making. But hopefully this storyline will further her character arc to possibly discovering who she is and loving herself.

It’s understandable if you don’t like Quinn; they writers often write her as the villain, a problem in and of itself. But whether you see her as an antagonist or a normal girl with lots of issues, it helps to understand what her objective is. Hopefully the writers will realize the potential they have in Quinn and give her an arc that she deserves.

Leslie Knope

When talking about wonderful ladies on television how can you not start with Leslie?

We first meet Leslie Knope in season one and she is a laughably optimistic but dopey character, much like a Michael Scott. We are meant to laugh at her hopes because they are seemingly unattainable and she seems to be blind to the reality of working in government. As the seasons have progressed, even starting in the middle of season one, Leslie has become more of an optimistic realist. She unabashedly loves her job, but she knows that accomplishing her projects will take perseverance and hard work, even if she can be a bit naive at times.

In fact, her love for her work is refreshing. I can hardly think of any other character, male or female, who loves their job as much as Leslie. She loves her town and she loves making it better for the crazy people in it even if she goes under-appreciated. Her professional life hasn’t been without scandal — From marrying gay penguins to being accused of having an affair with a a councilman. Still, even her political missteps are well-meaning and she comes out on top because she is always sincere. Her true love has always been Pawnee and providing the people with what they need and beyond.

The people who work with her know that she is generous and trying to make life better for Pawnee and not for personal gain. When the police chief asks why he give Leslie as many favors as she needs he replies “because she’s the kind of person who uses favors to help other people” and that is exactly what she does. Each person in her department respects her for the work that she does, even Ron Swanson, whose personal political philosophy is the polar opposite of Leslie’s. That respect has even blossomed into a friendship. Both Ron and Leslie have each other’s back whether it be professionally or personally.

In that vein, Leslie is a wonderful friend to everyone, especially Ann. The two ladies, arguably, have the best female friendship on television right now. They support and seek the best for each other even if it is not always to easy thing to do. Even after two sleepless nights, Leslie visits Ann to comfort her after a breakup. She pushes Ann towards a new career path, even though she is met with much resistance at first. In addition, Leslie has provided support for her fellow officemates, including but not limited to April, Andy, and Tom and they all support her in return.

Although currently single, Leslie hasn’t had an entirely fruitless love life. Though Leslie’s misadventures in love are often been played for laughs (“Skywriting isn’t always positive.”), it has never been implied that she is unlovable in anyway. Over the course of four seasons, she’s been involved in three serious relationships. Of those three relationships, none ended on bad terms. With the exception of Justin, the relationships ended only because of bad timing. Moreover, Leslie gave up her relationship with Ben to pursue her lifelong dream of running for office.

It’s easy to consider Leslie a feminist figure. While she is not the perfect feminist, she makes up for her indiscretions with candor. When asked about her life plan she lays out all of her political goals forgetting about marriage or kids. She supports the women in her life and in her town wanting to see young girls succeed and be appreciated for their intelligence and creativity, not just their physical appearance.

Leslie has many traits that round her out as a character. She is given flaws to make her human. She is a Harry Potter fan with a sweet tooth and a love for ladies in politics. She is caring, hard-working, optimistic, stubborn and naive at times. She holds strong relationships with women and men and succeeds romantically, as well. Her goals and point of view are clear; she makes her own decisions and is therefore in control of her own narrative. Subjectively, she embodies a perfect female character.

Several years back, NBC had a lineup they called “Must See TV”. This Thursday night block included television legends such as Friends, Seinfeld, even Cheers, once upon a time. Traditionally it was a two hour block of four half hour comedies followed by a drama such as ER. For about two decades it dominated, containing some of the season’s most watch shows (ER and Seinfeld both ranked as the #1 most watch program multiple times).

Along the way things got muddy. Seinfeld ended in 1998 and Friends in 2004. American Idol happened and soon followed a high demand for reality television. And NBC replaced one hour of comedy with The Apprentice.

Since then the network has been struggling to find ratings. In 2010, of the 20 most watched shows NBC only placed twice (#2 Sunday Night Football, #10 America’s Got Talent).

However, other networks have found success in multi-cam sitcoms and procedural dramas yet NBC hasn’t resorted to them completely. While still offering shows like Law & Order: SVU and the new Whitney, most of NBC’s lineup are shows that are uniquely NBC. Shows like Parks and Recreation, Community, even Chuck could not exist on other networks. Other networks may have numbers, but NBC shows have substance. They are quirky but they are good and the critics love them. They may have a smaller audience, but it is an extremely passionate one.

The person who watches NCIS probably catch the episode when they can. Tuesdays come, they turn on the TV, the episode, and then move on. The chances that they go back to rewatch the procedural or own the DVD boxed set are minimal. It’s not that kind of show. There’s a mystery and most likely by the end of the episode it’s solved. Sometimes there are overarcing story lines but not often. It’s a show about happenings, about immediate gratification. Viewers probably don’t hang posters of Mark Harmon on their wall. What’s the point of rewatching a mystery that you have already solved?

Now, the people who watch Parks and Recreation or Community are a whole different breed. They are fans. They are consumers. More than likely they own all the current available DVDs and possibly more merchandise like t-shirts, mugs, shot glasses, etc. They care deeply about the characters, where they are going and how their relationships evolve. They are going to care about them even after the show ends. The will wear out their DVDs.

This is something that NBC has over mostly all other networks (with the major exception obviously being Glee, a merchandising kingpin). Garnering fans is, or should be, the business NBC is in. And guess what? it takes more than three episodes for someone to become a fan. Seinfeld didn’t gain a large viewership until its fifth season and Cheers didn’t until its fourth. Word of mouth is a huge marketing strategy, which frankly, NBC could use. (Its marketing department is terrible. I didn’t hear about Free Agents until the night it aired and only because I had been planning on turning in for Up All Night, a show that I had been following because of the stars, yet, every commercial break has at least one Whitney related spot. And that’s only considering its new shows.) With most of my most watched shows, I didn’t start until at least the second season because people who I trust told me it was awesome — something that was just starting to happen for both The Playboy Club and Free Agents.

I understand that making TV is really about making money. I know that it is a business. But maybe NBC should try a new strategy. They are not going to beat CBS or FOX by the numbers straight out of the gate. It’s has to be a slower build. If they let quality shows hang around longer, it could snowball into the hit NBC is seeking.

Or maybe they should just hire a new fucking marketing team.

Last night’s Glee, entitled “Asian F” was touted as “Glee’s best episode ever” all week by various media sources. Except for Mike Chang’s sweet storyline about following his dreams into the musical and a bit of back-story for Emma, I cannot see how they came to this conclusion. (Spoilers to follow.)

The episode starts off with Mercedes running late for Mr. Shue’s dance boot camp because she overslept, even though it’s currently 4:30 in the afternoon as Glee‘s resident expositioner, Quinn, points out. Mercedes promptly does three spins and heads to the nearest garbage can to hurl up her Quizno’s. Mr. Shue scolds her because it’s “not about doing your best anymore, it’s about doing better”. Okay, Mr. Shue, I haven’t heard you tell that to Left-Feet Hudson, but fine. Glee wants us to feel sorry for Mercedes. I’ll play along. For now.

Later we find Mercedes in the cafeteria with New Boyfriend who chastises her for hugging Rachel, her now “arch-nemesis”. The two are going up for the role of Maria in West Side Story. New Boyfriend tells her that Rachel isn’t her friend right now and Mercedes is the one to beat for the part. It’s nice that her boyfriend is being supportive but it is also extremely out of line for this brand new male character to come in and dictate how girls should respond to other girls. I can’t help but feel that all of Mercedes’ following actions are tainted because the catalyst is New Boyfriend.

The scene then transitions to Mercedes’ singing “Spotlight” in the choir room while begrudgingly watching Mr. Shue and Rachel get chummy as if they aren’t at each others’ throats every second. Rachel may get more leads but there is no way the two of them would be sitting together giggling over sheet music. The song also serves as Mercedes’ audition piece with Tina and Brittany singing and dancing backup and Rachel pouting in the wings. The song is good, but it is definitely not Maria material; the judges however think otherwise. I continue to wonder if the judges (or the writers) have seen West Side Story.

In the teachers’ lounge co-directors Emma and Coach Beiste debate their options. Rachel “is Maria” but, to them, Mercedes is the riskier and maybe more exciting choice. Will decides he’s going to take credit for Mercedes new found “maturity” (a trait I wouldn’t exactly call Maria-esque, but there you have it), after all he’s been whipping her into shape during dance boot camp.

They decide they must have a “Maria Off” and we’re back to one of Glee‘s favorite tropes: the diva off. Obviously, in a creative and competitive environment, heads will clash but it is always the ladies. Why? Especially since this very episode tries to espouse some trite feminism with Brittany wanting to run for student council president because there have only previously been males in office. She even preforms Beyoncé’s “Girls (Who Run the World) while wearing a very short leather skirt, garter belt, and what look like, thigh high hockey socks. Feminism! But also exploitation! Obviously a woman can’t win without using her sexuality, but I digress.

It’s getting rather difficult to feel sorry for Mercedes. The first fifteen minutes of the episode focused on what a hard time she’s having juggling school and Glee and essentially convincing us that she’s the underdog. However, the judges seem think that both girls are an even match up for the role. Rachel tries to hug Mercedes in congratulations but Mercedes pushes her away. After all, they’re enemies now and girls supporting other girls is wrong!

We’re back at dance boot camp and Mercedes can’t tackle some move that New Directions will never be able to pull off. Mr. Shue tells her to push herself harder and Mercedes blows up. She thinks that he’s always picking on her and that Rachel is his favorite, a ridiculous notion if you consider the inappropriate amount times Mr. Shue has berated Rachel (and every other Glee girl). She complains that Rachel gets everything even though, in season two’s “Funeral” we’ve learned that Mercedes feels above practicing and it’s always been reiterated since the Pilot that Rachel goes home and practices for hours. I can’t understand how Mercedes feels like she deserves more if she’s unwilling to work for it, especially against Rachel “Wants Everything Too Much” Berry.

The dance boot camp transforms in a scene from Dreamgirls  (“It’s All Over”) which is actually kind of wonderful. Although it’s slightly confusing that everyone calls her “Effie” within the context of the song, while everyone else is called by their actual names. Still, the song is a great bit of musical theater, if only it was in a better context. Say, Mercedes attempting to figure out her place within the group and what she wants to do in life (we still don’t know what her college plans are). So, we’re left with Mercedes leaving the glee club because of Rachel.

It’s time for the “Maria Off”. Rachel wins the coin toss and concedes to let Mercedes sing first. The girls both preform “Out Here on My Own”, which is hardly a song for a Maria (why do they continually audition with non-West Side Story songs? Ah yes, the money). Rachel feels that Mercedes’ performance was better and immediately heads to Coach Beiste’s office to throw her hat into the ring for senior class president, a move that seems slightly out of character.

Now Kurt is angry with Rachel for running because, not only would it take away his edge for the NYADA application, but it would take away an opportunity for Kurt to make a “huge difference” at McKinley for other queer folk. I’m sure that’s not really Kurt’s main concern with Rachel’s campaign because she says that she’ll make him VP and you don’t have to be gay to champion gay rights. They’re called Allies. In fact, in this very scene Rachel has a Gay Pride flag in her locker! I’m not buying it, Kurt. Why is it always Rachel who has to feel like the guilty one?

The directors call Mercedes and Rachel into Emma’s office to announce (ta da!) they’re double casting the role and they’re both get to preform for a week as Maria, perhaps an homage to The Glee Project‘s tie. Rachel gracefully accepts but Mercedes is having none of it. She dares Rachel to say she was better but the room remains silent. Mercedes asks everyone in the room why no one wants to hurt Rachel’s feelings which is a ridiculous accusation considering the totaling amount of times Rachel has cried on the show far exceed the cracks Sue has made about Will’s hair. Mercedes doesn’t want it to be The Rachel Berry Show anymore and storms out which ironically makes it even more The Rachel Berry Show.

Artie posts the cast list (of five?) and Mercedes’ decides to join Shelby’s new glee club where she can be the “star power”, mirroring Rachel’s first season move of quitting the glee club to star in the school musical. Maybe Rachel is growing up a little faster than Mercedes, but in this very episode Emma and Coach Bieste refer to her as “mature”. Quitting a team to be the star of another team is hardly a sign of maturity; Neither is turning down a part because you have to share.

The problem with this is that it seems like the show wants us to side with Mercedes. She’s been under Rachel’s shadow and enough’s enough. Although, as a viewer we haven’t seen Rachel preform a solo since season two’s “Funeral”, so it’s hard to grasp that Mercedes is truly in Rachel’s shadow. Nonetheless, Rachel is always the villain. Week after week, everything is her fault. She works hard for what she wants and when she gets it she isdemonized. This week we see her fall out with the only two friends she’s made in Glee, excluding her boyfriend. Heck, even her boyfriend is disgruntled with her over her run for class president. Last season made strides in fostering a very real friendship between Rachel, Kurt, and Mercedes. Yet, in one episode, those relationships have found themselves on rocky ground.

If only Glee could find conflicts that don’t involved ganging up on Rachel. If they could find a way for ladies to compete without having to hate each other. The show’s internalized sexism is inherent in the fact that both the rivalries between Kurt and Blaine (for Tony) and Brittany and Kurt (for Pres.) got little screen time, being brushed out within a single scene, even though Rachel vs. Mercedes has been the centripetal story line in, at least, two previous episodes.

Please, Glee writers, stop rehashing the same story and let Rachel have friends again. Also can you at least attempt to bring the funny? I’m going to have to move you to “Dramas” soon. Until then you get an actual “F” from me.